Captain Co-ock

Captain Stockland is going to frock the world
Captain Cook is going to fry Australia
Captain Cock doesn't need mayonnaise.




thanx Jenny Sloot for the f...(antasti)c footage. Anyone passing by Hyde Park, Sydney, can have that vision larger than life size. Now, if you feel like signalling the content of that video as obscene, please call the mayor of Fluffy Town as well!

A Letter to Margaret Mayhem

This is a letter my girlfriend Jenny asked me to publish as a back up to the one she sent to Margaret, my ex, who occasionally mentions her and me in her blog, in a very personal, and therefore objectable, manner. This is an unabbreged unedited version, identical to the original one I give you the link of.

"Last night, Anna told me your PhD was in 2008/01.


So, if the 2008/03/01 (1st March, 1 month later) you didn't :

1. wrote on your blog : "Sorry Anna, I've been too far. I shouldn't tell so much rubbish about you, but I was so sad that I lost my mind. I didn't really think all I wrote here.".

2. tell to Alpha House's people : "Sorry Anna, I've been too far. I shouldn't tell so much rubbish about you, but I was so sad that I lost my mind. I didn't really think your worse that a rapist."
The last sentence I put in bold, it's fair I think, just tell it to :
Andrew, Chris, Shay and Jens - the people who were there this sad Thursday, when you said that to Anna.
I don't forget Ben and Alison, but they're not Anna's room-mates - Jens is your own room-mate, I don't know how write her name...


I will send my letter to all people I met in Australia (in Australia only ;) I think my french friends doesn't care at all about what you can write and tell.
And I won't tell it to Anna's family, because it's too private, and I know you love them).



I'm not ok to threat you that way.
But you just came to far!
Someone should try to calm you a little bit, I think. You know, somebody "gave me a strong lesson", a long time ago, and I just thanks her now (don't worry, I don't want you to thanks me, or to be sorry for me ;)


So, you have more than 4 months to act ;)

Publié par Jenny à l'adresse 18:44 0 commentaires

A commentary on Margaret’s blog

I wanted to post it on your own blog (http://minoumayhem.blogspot.com/), but maybe it's too long, so I wrote it here...




Sydney, the 19th October 2007

A commentary on Margaret’s blog

In response about what you told:

- the Thursday 13th September 2007, in the evening, in Alpha House - a lot of people were there (but the worse things you told were in French, so they could not understand!)

- here on your blog

Margaret, it’s a quite violent letter for you. So, maybe you should not read it today if you’re not strong enough today, ok?

Just read Note 1 and 2; ok? ;)

Read the letter when you will be strong enough.
I wrote it for you, using a dictionary (I was alone, in Sydney) so you can read it several times if you want.

Note 1:

It’s me, Jenny, who wrote (and think) this, it’s not Anna.

So don’t shout after her about what I write and think, ok? Because you hurt her already so deeply… it’s ok, you did a good job, you can stop attacking her… (attack me if you like, I don’t care… but I guess you don’t care either, no?)

When you tell some of your personal stories - or worse, tell another person’s personal story, as it seems that you’re used to do it on your blog - you take several risks:

* first, you tell a lot about yourself and
* 2nd the “other” can argue too ;)


So, in a way… I’m this “Other” – you can insult me, say I’m lying, I’m quite far in France (I quit Australia the 25th October) AND I’m not dangerous for you ;)


Note 2:

As you can see, reading this letter, I don’t trust you, even if I respect you (and your history and pains).
I’m unhappy and angry for a lot of reasons… I won’t tell here on a blog.

But the problem is that you wrote and yielded some horrible stuff, in public and so loud, I can’t let you act that way, without write back and tell the truth I know!

I think you won’t put this letter here (on your blog), as I think it would be fair, just because of all those horrible things you yielded (that Thursday) and because of those you wrote here too.

So, I have to copy it on another blog, because I know you can change this letter on your own blog ;)

Or you could pretend that Anna had modify it.

- Maybe on Anna’s blog - if she’s okay after she will read it. (and I'm okay if she wants to write too)

- But if she’s not ok for that (because she wants to protect you and/or she could have fear from you and your own violence, and/or have some peace in her flat), I will take an other space, and I’m sorry to tell you that in this case, I will send the link (with this letter) to several people here in Alpha House.


Because I want you to read it, several time, later and I want it unfalsified (if this word is correct??? I’m not sure, hope you’ll understand anyway).

So, I think it would be better to publish this letter, here, on your own blog ;)

If you do:

* 1st you can write back to me, and
* 2nd I hope you’ll say “I’m sorry, I went too far” to Anna (and people who can read your blog and friends here in alpha and in Sydney, so they can hear you saying that).


(

We told you “sorry”, with every body listening, for you, this Thursday in alpha.

But after that, you told these horrible things, in English and the worse was in French - so people here couldn’t understand the worse – you’re very smart, Margaret…

But unfortunately, I guess one day you could pay for that (it will be not me or Anna, as I’ve got my truth and own conscience, for me, like she has hers for her : we don’t need to hurt you). I mean you could meet in the future (I don’t want that for you, and that why I took time to write you that long letter), if you’re still acting that way with friends or lover, you could meet a really nasty people who could hurt you very deeply – not friendly as we are, but violent as you are.

I say that because I just want you happy and secure, as I want Anna to be happy and that you 2 can become friends (later, but don’t wait too long – we don’t know when she’ll come back to France…).

And I think it’s not fair you can tell Anna, such horrible things, without say “sorry” after – in fact, I even think that nobody (specially a woman) should tell such a thing to a friend or ex-lover, even to her best enemy.

)



----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Here’s is the “main letter”.

Once again, Margaret, it’s a quite violent letter for you.
So, maybe you should not read it today if you’re not strong enough today, ok?



- Question: from where I talk?
Answers:

1. I’m Jenny, Anna’s partner.
I’m French and I’m a post-feminist queer.
I came in Australia to support Anna, because YOU are hurting her, Margaret. Sorry, but you’re NOT the only one to suffer!

I try to love her the best I can - it’s not easy for me – and it’s not fair for her she meets people like you and me, I think ! But never mind, it’s her choice, as a human subject I like to think ;)

In your blog, you call her Abel I think… But most people know who she is: Anna is the women you “loved” for many years - I have to say I’m not quite sure you really loved her, (cause I think maybe you can’t, I mean it would be too dangerous for you? Reading the 2nd big paragraph will explain better what I try to say, as I’m not fluent in English).

Anna is French, as me, and moreover, she has a colonialised history in her family (I mean her family is a victim of the french colonialism in Algeria).
It’s more difficult, for a love story, to not have the same language (and culture). It’s not so easy to talk about strong and painful feelings in an other language. I know you don’t want to see and recognize that: it’s ok, it’s human – maybe it’s a white people stuff ?
But as you are an intelligent person, and specially working on queer stuffs (then working on differences and personal/public power), you should/have to understand, intellectually, that’s it’s easier for you, and there’s a lot of impacts on the way you 2 see and can talk about your past common life - as you’re white, Australian, and fluent in English speaking and she’s not! As a consequence, you are more confident, you’ve got more personal power than her for fighting – especially when you come to cry when there’s a lot of people here in Alpha to listen you, or on your blog, with all those people watching and listening what you yield (I mean shout) and cry.

If you don’t understand that, I think you should change of studies, see? I understand you were angry this Thursday, that your feelings just disturbed your mind and intelligence.

But I think you should say, to everybody (here, to your friends and in Alpha’s houses): that you’re sorry, that you were wrong, that you didn’t really think what you said (and wrote here), that’s it’s your pain who modified your perceptions and mind.
For me, if you don’t, you’re just a simple liar, a fucking nasty woman, a white redneck!


So, it’s a kind of “droit de réponse”, and I want a strong public “sorry” for what you did to Anna.


2. I know you’ve been raped, because you yielded about that this Thursday (Anna never tell stories about your life or your life together, Margaret; because she respects you – but I guess there too, you won’t believe me – or her and I just hate that you don’t trust her as she trusts you), trying to hurt her very badly, saying she was worse that the rape you experienced. Ouch !!! That’s the main raison I want to write the truth.

(I’m not happy to tell here that story on your blog – it’s so personal. I’m even very sad that I have to write you that – but I can’t talk to you, you wouldn’t let me talk, as it seems to me that you like to have power on people.
But as you used it to hurt Anna, and, SIC, in public, and in French, so nobody could understand but us – and it seems to me that you’re not so shy (and you don’t respect her and your common love story with her) to tell to everybody Anna’s personal life or rubbishes on her, but not your own personal stuffs, especially when it’s so unfair, low and pervert!

And you use that kind of techniques, so she can’t talk after that, you do it in a way other people can’t understand – that’s why I say you’re a pervert, Margaret. You call her freaks? You call her a monster? Ho, it’s true, you’re so clean and so franc!


So… I thought, finally, it would be fair that I translate that part of your French sentences, anyway… even if I think it’s bad to do it…)


I’ve been raped too, when I was 12 (and not just once…). And I worked on it, for quite a long time, with a psyanalyse.

As a woman (feminist and older than you), I wanted to tell you that I see in your acts (and way of speaking) many on theses traumas. Sure, your violent way of being (and violent speech) comes from violence you had suffered – but remember that she is not the one who hurted you.

You project a lot of stuff on her, because she’s not far from your intimity, and you’re frightened by personal relationship, denying a lot of things, ok... it’s better to be a butcher than a victim; but on an other hand, you’re want everybody here think you’re a victim, you talk a lot – she doesn’t - and you say she is the bloody drunk butcher, and in a very bad manner – so bad I need to tell the truth afterward.

Please, Margaret, stop living in your own fantasies and nightmares – it’s not a solution for yourself I think, and it’s so painful for Anna, please believe me. Be courageous and strong for (you and) her, and try to search the truth, talk to her, and try to listen to her (later if you can’t right now). I can imagine now (I know about your rape, since this Thursday you told us you will commit suicide if I don't leave) how you’re suffering, but forget for a while your “belly button”, try to see her feelings, try to make peace with Anna! Please! For her… and for you too.

I dare write “belly button” because since now Anna read this letter, she told me you are use to say that kind of stuffs, that everybody here know you're an actor, who like that kind of effet.
I didn't know that before today. For me, it's just crazy and so easy to try to shut me up that way. But now I know - so I will not be so careful with you anymore, because I belived you the day you told that!
In France, we tell: how use to shout "there's a wolf here", nobody will never believe anymore that person, even if a day there's really a wolf here.

Anna tried and still tries to “take” that, I mean she understand that your violence is coming from there, and doesn’t fight back when you’re so horrible and violent. But for me, (and I know I’m not alone to think that, because several people told me that, here) it’s not an excuse for what I can guess you did to her. Because when I heard you this Thursday, what you can say (and how!!!) I can imagine how bad you can be in bad days – she never talks about you, because that’s private stories, you and her, in private, when you were together. Maybe that’s why she doesn’t want to argue when you’re so unfair? It’s not because you are right, Margaret! It’s because she (still) tries to protect you, and I think she shouldn’t!
Your story doesn’t allow you to write wrong and unfair stuffs on her, here on your blog or to people! It’s a bad idea, and you could experiment bad stories if you do that, with somebody else, not gentle as she is, see?

Working on rape with a good analyst could help you, and specially learn a little bit how to protect your partner from the trauma (even if it’s not easy, I know that).


- Question: Why this letter?

Answers:

Cause you don't want to listen! So I have to write…

You came crying and yielding, the Thursday 13th September in the evening, while several people of alpha were there.

If I say something, you just say I lie – it’s so easy!

The only thing you wanted to hear was “I’m sorry Margaret”, but after that, you told such horrible things that I couldn’t talk anymore!

After what you told us, I just couldn’t stand staying here in alpha (it was really hard for me to be here, but after your intervention, it was really worse)! Nobody tried to stop you, I understand why – the worse is I think nobody here could really talk with you, even later, because they just fear you, I guess!

But I must tell it’s nice that you recon you had read some Anna's mails on her computer, so… thanks! Because 1st, that's very rude and intrusive, and 2nd, it's telling a lot about you!

I mean, if you want somebody to trust you and be honest with you, you have to be fair and honest with that person, you have to trust her. And the same for respect: you ask for respect… but I say that to be respected, you have to respect the “Other”!

Speech can be very powerful – think about that !

This Thursday, you asked me to quit alpha, and I did it, the day after – as I told you, even if Anna didn’t agree. And the Friday, we camp in the Embassy Tent in Victoria Park, then came with Anna in some backpackers – to feel better cause I was quite perturbed, AND to let you some more space – and then I travelled, I just came back the 15th October.

You say I don’t care about you. It’s not the truth, see? Because Anna loves you, so I care about you! (I guess you don’t care about how I feel, I just want you to know I was here to support Anna, not that I wanted you freak out – I want her to feel better, so you both could talk – it’s important for her).

Since I’m here, I used to smoke not in the garden, but in the street – ask people! Even if you told Anna, before I took my plane ticket, I could come in the garden, I tried not to do it, I keep Anna’s room most of the day, alone, because I didn’t want to perturb you.
I agree with you that Anna should leave you last year. And I told her, at that time, than she should move from Alpha. But since this Thurday, she explain to me she doesn’t want you to give orders to her, as you were used to do with her, that she was wrong to let you "walk on her face" and insult her the way you’re used to do – since this Thursday, I can understand what she was talking about, not before !

You acknowledged you talk with Anna of my travel here (before I came in australia), because you even said I could film your divorce, remember? So you just told to everybody that you were okay for I come here, that you were ok I could walk through the garden and public space here.

I always watched if you were there – but some time, as you are a great actor and dress differently, I just could not recognise you! (I think of Lise’s gig)
Why you didn’t came to say to somebody you don’t want me here?

You don’t believe me when I tell you we didn’t have sex before Anna came in France, in june 2006.

Do you remember Damaris? She was my girlfriend when you came to France, and she was living in my flat, because she didn’t have money to have one. Do you think I could go out with Anna, with her in my flat? No! But it’s so easy for you to tell I’m a nasty girl and to think and say I lye…

Later, I quit my flat, because I’ve got a lot of good friends, not her – she was a foreign student in France.

You think you’re the one who can live in alpha, that Anna was your guest, so she has to leave alpha. But I think now she paid her rent for many years, she worked a lot or the community. But you’re so violent, Margaret, that I guess nobody here would like to say you she has the right to live here!

I know too that a night, last year, you woke her in the middle of the night, she could not fall asleep again. You were with your girlfriend, while Anna was still living in the 7. She was feeling so bad that she called me – you were so drunk and made so much noise that I could here you two, laughing in the bathroom!
And then you come say us we are cruel because sometime we’re laughing in the 11, another house? Nobody can tell you you’re cruel, like nobody want to talk to Jasmine, Margaret! Do you want people think you’ll become like Jasmine?
Maybe you should tell Anna “I’m sorry about that, I should not do that kind of stuff and give later, in public, a moral lesson to you, Anna, because I’m not a saint!!!!”

If Anna says she's desesperate and feel really bad, about how it's going with you 2 now, you just say "bullshit". And you tell us that you knows better than her what she thinks and how she feels! And that's a very bad form of totalitarism - I can't let you say that! *

It's so easy to attack someone who doesn't fight back. You write rubbishes on your blog, cry and shout with a lot of people from Alpha, on your PRIVATE relationship and love story - only the way it's nice for you, the facts you like, who show to other you’re right and she is wrong. She doesn't do that, she won't do that.
I would like to know why you do that!

I guess maybe you do that, so people here will think you're the victim? But moreover, this sad Thursday before I left alpha, you yield about very personal and sad stuff in your life, in French, so other people can’t understand – but I did, and then, I was so shocked and angry about what you said! You just trying to hurt her very badly – but people here can’t understand how bad and strong these insults were!!! It’s so unfair, I can’t leave your country without speak about that!

I write you too, because I remembered afterward it’s true (see, I recon you were right and I was wrong!) one day I read your blog, I think it was maybe last year, I was in France. And I told you this Thursday I didn’t.

One time only, because I don’t like to read such rubbishes! Yes, I’m writing “rubbishes”, because it was full of rubbish on me and my family.

You talked about colonialism, racism and fascism in your blog (it’s what I remember, I don’t want to get there to read it again, and maybe you changed it since last year), and that you couldn’t understand why Anna loved me, as she’s half Arab from Algeria and I’m a fascist.
What do you know about that? It’s not your culture, it’s much more ours! Ho, I forgot: as a white middle class ozi woman, you know better than us!

Who do you think you are, to feel free of writing that kind of rubbish on your blog? How can you think I’d like to read it again, or that I care what you can write here (or now, that I could care about what you can think and tell about me?)?

At that time, I thought maybe you didn’t understand correctly French (I use to keep doubt with non-french-speaking people’s words and thoughts), so, I talked with Anna about that, and then I forgot it, even when she told me you were quite good in French – without saying bad stuff on you, Margaret. Because thanks, Anna is a really good person, not as you!

22h: I even think now you don't have a real true friend. Because if you had, that person should have told you that you are unfair with Anna, that you came too far. Could you hear that? And you tell so much lies, and she's just so alone here, it's like you broke relationships she could have here, with your lies?
I hope I'm wrong, Margaret!

But now I know you better, the only answers I can find (I hope I’m wrong, I would like you explain this to me) are :

1- you’re a white Australian, and you not feel easy with the story of your country with aboriginal people here – good on you, but bad way to deal with it! Why would you want people here think I’m a fascist, and that we are some really bad persons?

* You call her an alcoholic. But when she’s with me, she doesn’t drink! Only when she was with you, of after you split – and you were so bad with her!

* You call her lazy. But she’s always working!

* You say Anna always think to the sex? And what are you painting and always talk about, Margaret?

It’s exactly what white middle class ozi use to say about aboriginal people, Margaret! White ozi and American use to project the things they don’t want to see about themselves on black people!

Work on that!

If you need, as I know you say I lye, I can send you some names of book about that?


2- your centre in life is your belly-button, and you can’t imagine it’s NOT the centre of other people life – mine, in this case?

You know, if I wanted, I could get you in court for these? But I won’t, cause I think to Anna. And I have better to do, too ;)

*
for your health – and then for hers, cause I love her and I’d like you 2 could talk.



Once again, you talk too much, Margaret (too much lies, I mean)… be careful, there’s much more evil people on earth but Anna and me ;)

But right now, if rather think that you just transform the reality, to fit your "dreams" (it's much more nightmares). Stop hurt yourself using us.

Wake up, Margaret, maybe it’s not too late.

Jenny"